Let me clarify: Jesus gave me an epiphany today.
I often mull over how much I love being a goer, how I love being used by the Lord to share the Good News with those who haven't heard. I get to hear about it from the Bible and people with crazy awesome experience at Perspectives, and also from a lot of my close friends. I have also been blessed to be a goer myself at times, most impactfully (?) to South Asia.
Here is my faulty thinking. I often say I'd love to return to South Asia as a goer and reference my love for the people there, the culture, etc., and that I want to share the gift that is Jesus with them. But I've got it all backwards. I need to love Jesus first and more. Why should I be a goer? Because Jesus is my Saviour, my treasure, and my pleasure to share and I want bring Him glory.
Seems so simple, and my head has known this for a long time. But in the action of loving internationals here as I would those nationals overseas, my heart lost track of the ultimate treasure. I began to love internationals from my own limited supply of human love, instead of being filled with His love through meeting with Him. I shared him as a gift, not a treasure.
Now, the adventure begins again. I get to re-discover my King as the indescribable beauty He is.