beautiful distraction.

A couple weeks ago was the TSC retreat, and I attended as always. I've been battling a barrier between me and my King, and He chose this weekend to reveal this analogy to help me understand how to choose Him (whew, that was a mouthful!).

This barrier is a chasm. Me on one side and Christ on the the other, beckoning me to be with Him. But a many chasms are, it a beautiful distraction, and Christ looks small and feels distant. The rushing river below is deafeningly loud, stealing my attention. I can see that it is deep and dark and to fall would be certain death;the darkness consuming, the swift tide sweeping, or the collision shattering.

I call out to Him and I can see that He is calling for me too, but the roar of the river is too loud. Yet I know, He hears me. I yell for help-- for a way to reach Him--and like His refining character, He provides a bridge for me to labor over towards Him. He does not simply close the chasm as His power might suggest, but in His sovereignty chose to give me a way to choose Him.

I step onto the small but firm limb and with each step realize what He is allowing me to overcome. The gorge still plunges, reaching for my heart, claiming fear in the darkness of the unknown. But as I change my view from void to His face, my step becomes light and my foothold sure. I begin to race to the other side, confident of the promise He has made to be all that I need and want. But yet I run to the end of the limb and find that it does not reach the other side. I am confused, but I know that I must cross to conquer for once this gaping chasm. And then clarity comes as I see that this is not an end but an opportunity for faith. I fix my eyes on Him and slowly step where I know there is no support. I do not fall. I blink in astonishment and He is there beside me. He picks me up and carries me across, lifting my fears and expectations from my shoulders to His.

He speaks only these words, "My child, I am so glad you have come."

We walk together and time escapes as He shares Himself and His love for me. The chasm I once knew so vividly still rages behind, but as I walk with Him the roar becomes a mumble and then a whisper until I can hear it no more. Still I never forget what lies behind us because I know that if I were to part with Him, I would find myself back at the gorge or one of many others like it. To cross back over the the other side, I know, would lead only to death.

I remain content, and even filled with joy to walk with Him as he leads me ever into the thickening forest, along the path which He has promised to lead to His home. My home.