The REAL Stadium Clean Up

Yeah. Most of you out there know very little about what I do as the coordinator of all things Salt Company (Jack Trice) Stadium Cleanup besides drive around the concourses with an EZ-Go golf cart, answer my phone, and talk like I'm in charge to make me look important. While all of those are valid tasks of mine (the latter the most precisely correct), there is alot more that goes into cleanups that I won't expound on. Except---the REAL stadium cleanup.
This begins when everyone else has done their part and enjoyed some pizza. Although a seemingly daunting task, with the right people and a spoonful of sugar (just makes everything go down better), re-cleaning the stadium is a whole lots of fun! Heres what we do as soon as we tell people to go home:

1. Purify the Club section of Salt Co. cooties.

2. Give magical rides on the EZ-GO (or when I'm lucky, the Gator =)) to set the stragglers off in the right direction.

3. Return supplies to the annex shed which, I have decided, would make a great place for a horror film with all its horror-like supplies and deep dark shadows.

4. Begin on the concourses playing what I've decided to call "Trash, Trash, Leaf". This game requires a mode of transportation, trash bags, gloves, keen eyesight, and friendly laughter to spot and make a dash for each piece of left-over trash, while the others whoop and hollar encouragements (not uncommonly,"DO IT.") or join in the mindless running-abouts. The game got its name from the repetetive experience of spotting what looks to be like trash, but is in fact, the common leaf.

5. Move onto the parking lots, and pick up some serious driving speed. We're talking 20, 25 mph here-- the big leagues. Don't come without a signed release. Also, this is when the drive-by pick-ups begin. Although this requires me to basically come to a complete stop on the driving apparatus, it is a polished feat of which Laura and Brian are the running champions.

6. Find cool finds. Like brawtwursts so far gone they look like human feces, or sunglasses, or a bike helmet, or maybe even an un-manned running dumptruck.

7. If you're Lauren, scream at possessed beer cans spewing beer. If you're Laura, laugh hysterically at Lauren. If you're Elena, run and jump on the can, exploding it into oblivion. If you're Karissa, continue picking up trash uttering but a slight chuckle and amused grin.

8. Fill the cart's bed with trash, but be sure to leave some breathing room for Lauren.
9. Throw trash into dumpster, preferably not all over the ground or self.

10. Commemorate good times with photos or possibly a quick run through the sprinklers on the field.
11. (Optional). Get in trouble for being on the field by a security guard, and when asked, tell the truth so convincingly he doesn't ask any more questions and lets you go.

12. Lock up the stadium gates.
13. Try to cram everyone into Elena's car filled with coolers and water jugs. Leave the stadium singing.

And that my friends, is what happens when "stadium cleanup" ends.

Wolves and Moons, Please.

How have I been so nieve all this time?
There is a shirt out there...a shirt with magical powers. How do I know, you ask? Over a thousand reviews have spoken the awesome majesty that accompanies this shirt endowed with three wolves howling at the moon. Dwight of The Office proudly wears this tee around his girthy frame, and even ABC and NBC News thinks its worth their precious reporting time. Need I say any more? Check out the first-hand experiences here. You will be nothing less than amazed.
Here's a taste:

Great compliment for my skin art, May 19, 2009
By overlook1977 (Raleigh, NC United States) - See all my reviews
Unfortunately I already had this exact picture tattooed on my chest, but this shirt is very useful in colder weather.

So do yourself a favor and make a believer out of yourself. I hope this gem of a video helps.

Rachel Just Did That.

Think back with me to two weeks ago. What were you doing at that point in time? Can you even remember?

Good thing I can, cause its pretty funny. Rachel was sitting next to Jase on the couch, both of them thinking in their heads (and then saying outloud) how ridiculous I am when I'm tired. Funny things were said, and on one such occasion, Rachel's intake of water decided it would rather not be inside her body any longer. And so she laughed, gagged, and then spit much of the water into her hands....but some managed to land on Jase's shirt. Actually, alot did. She quickly laughed, jumped up, kind-of apologized (cause you don't really have to do that when you're engaged), and hurried to the kitchen sink where she came quite close to upchucking.
She came back with wetness on her face, so of course I asked, "How is there fluid by your eye?" Simple question, simple answer : "My eyes...cried."

There still remains the lingering question yet unanswered: was Rachel really just angry with Jase and looking for a way to let him know? Hey guys, come on now....save it for marriage counseling.

Yeah, Rachel just did ALL of that.

My Knees Hurt.

This happens to me when I sit too much. Like for example: ALL DAY LONG. I sit in class, I sit at work, I sit in my car to drive between the two, and then I retire to my apartment to sit while I do homework.

And it doesn't help that my knees think they're old and believe they have arthiritis.

Ugh. I'm gettin older, and with age comes responsibility. I just didn't realize responsibility has alot to do with physical inactivity.

Thanks for letting me vent :)

CyRide is the New Sleigh?

All of my childhood hopes and dreams have been based upon the simple fact that Santa Claus drives a sleigh. Right? Ok, I suppose some of them came from the Bible and stuff. But recently, I came to the startling conclusion that santa doesn't ride in a sleigh at all! He rides CyRide. I know what you're thinking..."Good call Santa, way to upgrade to a heated form of transportation." And I agree--I always wondered how he stayed warm on that sleigh up in the sky.....but back to my story. Every monday morning when I set foot on the mighty #3 Blue South bus at 6:35 a.m., I am struck by the sight of my dearest gift-bringing friend, Santa Claus. He sits inconspicuously off to the right side, bravely showing his long white beard, his merry rounded belly, a festive red baseball cap, and pristine white sneakers (who knew?). At first I thought that this poor old man must unknowingly impersonate the red-clad hero we know as Santa, but as weeks went by I came to realize that this man wore his red cap every morning we had our chance meeting. Coincidence? I think not. This man IS our beloved Santa Claus!

Although I do believe, I must pose my one question for our crafty santa-man. How do you plan to fly CyRide to visit all your faithfully "nice" people on one snowy Christmas Eve night? I know the weather is nice here and the campus is beautiful, but you should probably get your priorities straight. And put yourself in Rudolph's shoes, for goodness sake!

Jordan Just Did That

I was walking to class with my jovial kind of friend, Jordan, and as we laughed about something, he tripped. Looking back, there was nothing at all that would've obstructed his path. So let it be known that Jordan Adams tripped over his own feet and yeah, he just did that.

How do I drink this?

Sometimes I have problems drinking fluids. This was discovered this summer in India, as I tried to do the culturally correct thing and pour water in my mouth without touching my lips to the bottle. Needless to say, I failed miserably at this. But it wasn't always that unwelcome because the misguided water would usually find some way to cool down my overheated body. And last night, as I shared food and laughs with some friends, my sneaky little mouth and throat found a way to obstruct the fluids from continuing down in to my belly not once, twice, but three times. So yes, I just did that.