A Story

I am taking my lunch break today to tell you folks a story. Sit down, have a listen. Its the story of a girl with what some might call, a complete lack of common sense.

It was a friday night, and Helena was driving home from work in an exceptionally adventurous mood. Because Helena loved her childhood, she decided to re-live the younger years by visiting her treasured old house. Although the idea seemed golden in Helena's mind (and probably yours), it quickly degenerated into, dare I say, a brazen idea? As Helena approached her old home, anticipation and memories flooding in with the loud barking of dogs that circled her car, she wrinkled her brow in utter confusion. The quancet barn that had seemed a never ending chasm and an even greater mystery had somehow condensed into half of its size, becoming merely an oddly-shaped garage. The rickety old barn where the family had stored cows and emus alike had simply vanished. The fruit trees she once climbed and chose succulent apples and pears from had become mangled, overgrown old memories.The beautiful and HUGE front yard once hosting games of softball had been cluttered with useless junk and again, condensed into half its size (can you believe how much shrinking the present owners did?) WHAT was going on?

Confused and saddened, quite the opposite of what Helena had expected to be after a trip to Nostalgia, she headed back toward the highway to get home. She was certain she must get to 195th, noticed she was only on 185th, and so found her way to the correct road through eerie back roads. But alas! Helena was on 195th, heading west with the highway in sight. Passing a sign that read, "Gravel Ends" Helena simply assumed, overriding her better judgement, that this must mean the gravel became pavement. She was wrong. The gravel slowly and gradually turned into mud as Helena passed an old lonesome farm. The trusty Dodge Neuron (yeah, didn't know they sold those, huh?) conquered the mud for some time before Helena's instincts got the best of her and convinced her to turn around. Suddenly, the mud ATTACKED and sucked all the energy out of the poor Neuron (bet you didn't see that twist coming).

Helena begrudgingly asked her parents to come on a rescue mission, and then decided to make new friends at the lone farmhouse. Not answering the door on multiple occasions convinced Helena the residents had no interest in being buddies, and so she left to wait at the end of the mud road and play a magical boredom-defying game called Tetris. Hours later and a good 10 pounds heavier, Helena's Neuron sheepishly came creeping home (and by sheepishly I mean wobbly and awkwardly, in addition to being embarrassed).

I guess the moral of the story would have to be this: we can't all be geniuses.